The Better Deal

Shortly after Heidi and I first started dating, we took a flight out to California for a little mini-vacation/meet-the-parents expedition. Our plane was delayed, and while waiting around in the airport I taught her the game called Who Got the Better Deal. The game is easy: essentially you look at a couple and debate who got the better deal. Superficial? Yes. But it always kills time and is good for a laugh. Plus, you really start to get a feel for the person you're playing with.

Me: OK. He got the better deal

Heidi: She's wearing an eye patch.

Me: Hmmmm. How about that...

Important note of caution: If you teach other friends the better deal game and one of them casually asks, “which one of us got the better deal?” referring to their relationship, DO NOT ANSWER. This is a loaded question, right up there with “Do I look fat in this?” or "Did you have fun at the strip club?” Really. Do not answer this.

Well after six years of giving Heidi every opportunity to come to her senses and run, I proposed. Yeah, it surprised me too. I was thinking back to our early dating time line and was trying to figure out when I knew she was really into me. I always liked to think it was one of our first dates. We were at a Rockies game and passed by a “how fast can you throw“ machine. In order to win within my age range, I had to throw a baseball faster than 80 mph. Luckily, throwing a baseball is one of the few things that I do well, and was right in my wheelhouse of “ways to get to second base with a chick." My first throw came me in at 78. My second one hit 79. Then I summoned all my inner baseball power and somehow my third throw hit 82 on the radar gun. A blessing from the Baseball Gods, and it took a lot of restraint to not do a little dance. The guy gave me a pin with the Rockies logo and I gave it to Heidi. I was probably more impressed than she was and paid the price for my heroics. Throwing a ball 82 mph without warming up made my entire arm go numb. In fact, I couldn’t lift it over my head for 2 days and it also made it nearly impossible to try to steal second base.

Later on in our relationship, I asked Heidi if the amazing “throw the ball fast" was the moment she knew I was awesome. She just laughed like “you aren't very bright,” and then told me that she knew she really liked me when we took a little side trip to Crested Butte. I racked my brain for a while thinking “what the F happened in Crested Butte?” The truth was, nothing happened. Things just fell into place and she looked at me as a long term prospect. Although “project” may be a better word.

The next few years were filled with all of life’s variety in long term dating: jobs all over the place, lots of moves (including moving in together…then breaking up 2 weeks later and moving out), trips all over the world, firm decisions followed by indecision. And everything else that comes with trying to put a puzzle together.

Then I proposed. As I said before, it surprised even me. I spent the last six years waiting for light to go on. I always thought you would just know when you wanted to be married. I waited around for that light, and would often pose the question to myself .

Inner Me:. “Hey are you ready to get married yet?”
Outer Me: “Hmmmm, no not yet inner you... we still don’t like to do dishes.”

Then, like that, it was on. I don’t know the exact moment, but it was somewhere in Peru. Machu Picchu was something Heidi had always talked about seeing, and there I was staring at the lost city without her. It felt like something was missing and thought to myself “From now on, I don’t want to see these kind of places without Heidi." And that was that. I bought the ring a few days later and had it shipped from New York to Boulder. My sister in Boulder gave it to Shelly, Erik’s wife, and she brought it down to Buenos Aires.

Another quick side note: while sitting at dinner in Peru, I had just told Erik my plan and that I was going to propose. I was worried about all the logistics of getting the ring to Buenos Aires and said something like, “I sure hope it all works out.” Erik looked up from his dinner and replied “Well, you have a 50% chance like everyone else.” I had to inform him I was talking about the ring logistics and not about the actual marriage, and we both had a good laugh.

I popped the question on a bridge in downtown Buenos Aires. It wasn’t a big production. After six years I knew that I could have proposed anywhere and there would be a lot of screaming, and some water works. The only problem was Heidi was shaking the ring box with such excitement that I had to stop her before it went over the railing. It was pretty awesome… and then I tried to put it on... shit. That was the one gamble I took in the element of surprise: I had no idea what ring size she was. It was a ½ size too small and she had to wear it on her pinkie for the rest of the trip. But she rolled with it like she knows how, and now it's on the right finger.

Before I left on this trip I was looking for a few more things I needed to pack for my journey. I came upon a random box in the closet and found the Rockies pin that I gave her six years ago. It brought a smile to my face and my arm started to twitch in pain. Then after we got engaged I asked her if I could fish for another month in Argentina, she replied “I think you have to keep fishing.” And now when I get home I'll have a beautiful, smart, charismatic woman who loves me unconditionally picking me up from the airport. Sorry kid, I got the better deal.